Quotes

Ever walk into a conversation only to hear something that sounds...well, sounds like it should not have been heard out of context? Life is all about those moments (well, at least this page claims it is). Here's what you may or may not have had the pleasure of hearing my friends and myself say. Some are absolutely disgusting. Some are hilariously funny. Some (on the rare occasion) are amazingly poignant. And some...well, you be the judge!

On a side note, you may want to visit a site called In Passing, maintained by my friend "Eve". It's a great site dedicated the art of eavesdropping.

  • Wai: "It's never Baywatch. It's more like Cocoon."
    (on describing nude beaches)
  • Teacher: "Being drunk at school is like being drunk in hell."
    (overheard in a teacher's staff lounge)
  • Rosey: "Let's get some Barry Manilow and get this party started!"
  • Wai: "Wow...it's like watching a 3 hour traffic accident."
    on the movie Pearl Harbor
  • Hoss: "Wow, this seat is still warm. Damn, you got a hot ass!"
  • Anthony: "I wanna be a pirate! You don't need to be a good sailor, just a good shot."
  • Auntie Janie: "Cat's don't have owners; they have staff."
    (so true!)
  • Hoss: "I rock my own world"
  • Kim: "He's a politician...he's supposed to lie. At least he was honest in how he lied."
    (why Clinton wasn't so bad as a president)
  • My Dad: "The best thing I've gotten out of this marriage is you. Too bad you don't have any resale value."
    (Aren't dad's great? This is what my dad said to me when I wished him and my mom a happy 30 year anniversary)
  • Granny: "Ok, let's say 5 or 10 years down the line, you and Wai are doing good and have your nice house and everything. You see Granny out on the streets. What do you do?"
    (big long pause)
    Me: "Toss you a cardboard box?"
    (what a way to earn brownie points at my inquisition!)
  • Wai (to me): "One of these days, you will feel..."
    Random Homeless Guy (interrupting): "...like an orgasm, huh?"
    (wow, Baltimore is such a colorful place to be)
  • Erin: "We need idiocy in this world. Where else would we get used car salesmen?"
  • Betsy: "I don't like playing card games. I'm not big on games of that sort. Games with guys' minds, well that's another matter."
  • Wai: "I hate beating around the bush. I'd rather just beat the bush...or burn it!"
  • Charlie: "Look! They wrote a book about my ex-husband!"
    (while holding up a copy of The Moral and Social Behavior of a Dog)
  • Erin: "You're cancelling a date? Don't you know there are starving children in Ethiopia that can't get dates?"
  • Erick: "It's not too big, and it fit through the damn hole!"
    (regarding us teasing him about insisting that his large luggage would pass as carry-on)
  • Grandpa Weir: "Ten reasons why biking is better than sex? You've led a sheltered life, boy!"
    (upon seeing the back of Erick's CalTeam Top Ten t-shirt, boy grandfathers have a great sense of humor)
  • Some random AIDS Rider: "It's okay to be straight, just not narrow."
    (a great way to describe skewed homosexual views)
  • Me: "Oh my god, her eyes are bigger than her breasts!"
    (my assessment of Anime-style art)
  • [after Claudine accidentally hit her head on the back of the couch]
    Mark: "Careful, you don't have any brain cells to waste!"
    [pause as Claudine looks at him as if she's been insluted]
    Mark: "Well, it's true! You're in med school! You need all the brain cells you can spare!"
    (nice save!)
  • Emily: "We have champagne tastes, but a beer budget."
    (a rather insightful way of describing Emily's and her friends' picky tastes)
  • Shawn: "That's not the way to talk to the woman who popped your fat head from between her loins."
    (an interesting way of describing the proper respect a mother deserves)
  • Michael: "You don't want to wear button-down shirts to work, especially if you own a pair of breasts."
    Jenny: "As opposed to what, rent them?"
    (regarding recommended Seneca dress policy)